Sounds like someone's prepared an elevator speech. So I challenged Amy — who I suspected was Amy Pedersen, co-owner of Slimpressions — to send me a piece of her shapewear and let me put it to the test. And she accepted my challenge.
I told her my problem area is my stomach, and she asked me my pants size, and then she sent me...a shirt.
So hmm. Maybe I've been going about this all wrong. Maybe panty girdles aren't the way to go.
First impressions are important. And Amy nailed hers. She sent me a cover letter that was definitely not a form letter, first sending condolences and then several times referencing my specific arguments against shapewear (The fat has to go somewhere!).
I was a little confused by the garment though. Amy explained in her letter that the problem area that led to create Slimpressions was her arms. And I get that. But the piece has sleeves nearly down to the elbow! So I'm guessing you wear it under a long-sleeved top? But if you're wearing a long-sleeved top, aren't your arms sufficiently covered? How flabby do your arms have to be to want compression on them under a long-sleeved top?
But I was going to keep an open mind and try this thing. Just as soon as the weather cooled off enough to wear something that doesn't show my arms.
That day came yesterday. High of 65 and...I had a job interview. I wore a black skirt suit with a long-sleeved button-up dress shirt and boots (no tights). I didn't think of the shapewear at first. But the shirt was a little tight across the bustline and I didn't want to risk it gapping (a BIG no-no, ladies!) so I dug out the Slimpressions shirt and figured I'd see what it could do.
Inside the bag had been a card reminding me to STEP INTO Slimpressions! Ha, good idea. Who among us hasn't gotten tied up in a piece of binding shapewear, our arms flailing over our head, unable to get the thing to budge up or down, slowly losing consciousness as the spandex squeezes out the last bit of air from our lungs?
I did think it sucked stuff in enough to make the top wearable so I wore it under my suit to the interview. So here's where I stand on shapewear in general now, and Slimpressions in particular:
It's Hot
I'm going to steer away from the "whore-in-church" reference, but let me just say that even when it's 65 degrees and gorgeous out, if you layer a tight-fitting shapewear shirt, with a dress shirt, followed by a suit jacket, you will have sweat running running down your back for the next several hours. Not sure that's a trade-off I'm willing to make.
It's Not all about the Panties
I will give the Slimpressions ladies this: I never would have considered a shirt to suck in my tummy, as opposed to the panties. But as I complained before, panties just end up rolling down which means not only are you hot and uncomfortable, but you're also trying to figure out how to roll the damn things back up again without anyone noticing. With the shirt there was no rolling. It stayed right where I put it until I peeled the thing off a few hours later.
I Give it a Pass. A Conditional Pass.
If you want to smooth out lumps and bumps underneath your clothes, shapewear will work for that. It definitely will. And it helps if you select the right piece (i.e. shirt vs. panties). Shapewear will not make you skinnier. I probably need to lose 10 pounds in my stomach and hips. Wearing shapewear does not make me appear 10 pounds thinner. It may make me appear two or three pounds thinner.
So there. That's my new shapewear philosophy: It'll tighten you up a bit, but it ain't gonna make you skinnier.
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